Life in Triage

I originally intended this journal to be a collection of stories that I picked up on the wards. I thought my days would be ripe with stories to tell. Stories of pain, heartache, inspiration, and joy. I am sad to sat that it simply didn’t happen.

I can’t say if it was my own lack of involvement in my patient’s lives, or that simply what happens around the hospital just isn’t all that interesting. All I know is that my moments of connection with patients were few and far between, and moments of inspiration were almost nonexistent.

It seems as though, unfortunately there are really only two kinds of patients (with the rare exception). They are either a) not all that sick, or b) so sick that they have lost the ability to effectively communicate. So, either way, establishing a real connection with a very sick patient is nearly impossible. Sure Ms. Smith who comes in to have her HCTZ refilled is a nice lady, but she’s not sick enough to make her interesting. And Mr. Jones with his end-stage pancreatic cancer is dying, but the drugs we are giving to keep him pain-free eliminate any chance at real communication.

And to top it all off, when the day ends, this turns into a job just like any other job. I come here, I get the things that I need to do done, and I go home. I pray that my M.O. will change once I am a physician and directly involved in the care of my patients, but I can say that while playing doctor as a med student (get ready for that post), I found it unbelievably hard to get really involved.